Should My Aspiring Content Creator Pal Stop Using Me for Material?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

My best friend of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything constantly. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I get vicarious awkwardness. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me being her unpaid videographer. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend helping her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me smiling with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Creating content is my version of engaging with life: noticing the nuances, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being realistic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes content authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my friend. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip here or there would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it’s not for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so hold on to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not digital scrapbooks. Even celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor authentic when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting clear boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been exploiting their friendship?